“Welcome back, Catherine,” Warrick grinned when Catherine came back to work after her leave of absence. Everyone had missed her, and she missed them; Warrick was one of her closest friends on the job, excluding Gil, and she had felt a little lonely without him around. “Back for good?”
“I think so,” she grinned. “I don’t see any reason why Gil would send me home.”
Sara and Greg came into the lounge. “Hey Catherine,” both said in unison. Catherine waved at them, smiling, as she looked at the file Gil had given her when she arrived. Paperwork for the last case she had been working on before her vacation that he insisted she take.
“What are you working on?” Sara asked, as she opened a bottle of water.
Catherine looked up. “Oh, just some paperwork from that robbery I had before Gil sent me home. He handed the case over to a day-shifter, but he had to have me sign some sort of form. Covering his ass, I guess.”
Warrick shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to be careful around here.”
“True,” she smiled and glanced at the clock on the wall. “Do you know where Gil is?”
“Ummm....” Sara started, looking at Greg. “He was on his way to his office, reading some letter. We called out to him, but he didn’t look up.”
Catherine frowned; she was afraid that his hearing loss was progressing. He was trying to stay active in evidence gathering and processing, but it was difficult because he couldn’t take statements all the time, and Catherine couldn’t always be there although he tried to have her around a lot.
“He was probably just thinking or something.” Warrick and the others accepted this. She smiled and stood up. “Well, I’m gonna go hand these to him and see what he’s up to. Maybe he has something fun for me to do,” she sighed and shrugged and walked out of the lounge.
She found his door open. He had told her he started doing that in case people were knocking and he couldn’t hear them. It made sense. She knocked before entering; when he looked up and smiled, she smiled back and walked in. “How are you?”
“I’m alright right now,” he admitted. “How does it feel to be back?”
“So great. You were right though.”
He grinned. “About what?”
She growled. “I had hoped you wouldn’t rub this in my face. You know what about. The week off, the therapy, spending more time with Lindsay and you. All of it.”
“You feel better?”
She nodded. “I still flinch when people bump up against me, but you know that already,” she chuckled, remembering the time he came up behind her with coffee and doughnuts, and she had been so startled by the contact that she knocked the hot liquid all over him.
“Yeah,” he winced. “I won’t forget that for a while. No sneaking up behind you with hot items.” He changed the subject. “How’s Lindsay doing with the sign language?”
“She’s still at it,” Catherine replied, proud of her daughter. “She’s goes to class, and then comes back and teaches me. She’s getting really good at it.” She saw Gil’s eyes get a little misty; it took a few moments, but he had it under control in a little while. “You don’t need to hide your tears. I already know you’re a big softy at heart.”
He nodded and chuckled. “Yeah, I know. I can’t hide it anymore.”
“She’s crazy about you.” Catherine walked closer after shutting the door. She perched herself on the edge of his desk. “I never thought she’d stick with the sign language classes. I think she likes how you treat her like she’s almost an adult.”
“I’m crazy about her, too,” he responded. “You have an amazing daughter. Besides,” he added, “It doesn’t do any good for the growing-up process to have people around you speaking in hypocorism.”
“Hypo—what?”
“Baby talk,” he answered. “It means baby talk.”
“Oh,” she replied, smiling and shaking her head. “Makes sense.”
“Did you want to come out with me?”
She blinked, unsure of what he meant. For a second, she was hoping he was asking her out; however, the question was so out of the blue, and off of their topic of discussion. She wondered what he was implying. Did he want to take her out on a date?” What?”
He cleared his throat. “I have a murder. Thought maybe you’d like to come out, since I’ve been trying to swamp you with paperwork.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I heard you telling Warrick.”
“So your hearing’s not completely gone yet,” she smiled. “I’m gonna have to remember that. Where’s the scene?”
“A hotel.”
She nodded. “Great. Just let me get my coat.”
“I’ll meet you by the Tahoe.”
~*~
Gil looked into the evidence room. Catherine was bent over some pictures, studying them under a magnifying glass. She looked tired, but busy and content at the same time. He wanted to go in and see her, but he saw that she was busy, and decided to let her be for a while.
“Gris?”
He turned and saw Nick coming towards him. “Hey, Nick. What’s going on?”
“I was going to run and get some coffee. Thought you and Catherine might like some.”
“Sure,” he nodded. “I’ll go in and ask her.” He stepped into the room, breaking the decision he had made earlier. “Cath?” She looked up, startled a little. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay,” she smiled, seeming happy to see him. “What’s up?”
“Nick was going to get some coffee, thought you might like some.”
She smiled. “Sounds great. I’d love a cup.”
He turned out of the room, and returned to Nick. “She’s game. Thanks, Nick, for making the run.”
“No problem. We’ve all been working hard lately,” he replied. “Thought some snacks would boost morale around here.”
He walked back into the evidence room, his curiosity getting the better of him. He wanted to know what was holding Catherine’s attention so well. “What are you working on?”
She didn’t look up, but stayed studying the pictures and making notes. “Just some shots of that hotel room. I wanted to make some notes before I switched to fingerprints.” He nodded. “I can feel your expression, what’s on your mind?”
He smiled. Catherine was quick. “You don’t think you’re working too hard?”
She shrugged. “Nah. Just doing what’s necessary to get the job done.”
“Want me to help?”
She looked up and smiled at him. “No, thanks, I’ve got it all under control.” She had been working hard, he noticed. That first night back was a busy one for her, and he didn’t completely understand why.
~*~
“Gil!” She put a hand on his chest. “Would you move it? I have to—” She looked at him, wondering if he could hear her, and then began to sign wildly. *I have things to do! Let me go!*
He rolled his eyes. “I can hear you, don’t worry.”
“Then, step away and let me through the door!”
He shook his head. “Would you please sit down for a second? You’ve been working yourself solid every night for two weeks. You just got back. You never take a break, you’ve taken on several cases, everyone’s worried about you.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“And,” he added, “I heard about you helping Ecklie out during the day shift. Why are you keeping yourself so busy?”
She shrugged. “I never really thought about it. I just want to do things, stay busy, sharp, and—” she saw him falter, and immediately switched to her hands. It was slower, but he’d understand her just the same. She spoke clearly as she signed: “I have a lot on my mind.”
He looked at her curiously. His hands moved slowly, as did his lips. He wanted her to understand. *What do you mean? A lot on your mind?*
She shrugged again. *It’s nothing.*
“Cath....” When she looked up, he smiled. “Ears are back on.”
“Oh. Well, it’s really nothing.”
“I know you better than that. You don’t usually avoid ‘nothing.’”
She hated that he knew her so well. She had been keeping busy; it was something had to do. Every time she slowed down, she started to think about Gil in romantic terms and that frightened her. He could reduce her to feel like a lovesick schoolgirl, and in this state, she was afraid to even imagine that he felt the same way. She knew his secrets, she had seen him cry, and he knew almost everything about her. But, there were doubts.
Maybe it was because of the rape. She hadn’t felt entirely whole since the event, even after going to see a therapist. No matter how healed she felt, part of her still didn’t feel intact or worthy enough to fall in love again.
So, she kept herself busy. This way, she wouldn’t have to be faced with confessing to Gil how she felt. This way, her heart would stay protected and safe.
~*~
“Warrrrrrick!!!”
The darker man spun around to see a small blonde package rushing towards him. His face broke out into a huge grin and he bent down and opened his arms. “Lindsay! How’s my girl?”
“Good,” she smiled, not releasing her hold on him as he stood up. She wasn’t that heavy, and he certainly didn’t mind carrying her around. “Mommy brought me to see Uncle Gil’s bugs.”
He pretended to be excited for her. Bugs weren’t exactly his thing, but she seemed happy, so he’d be enthusiastic about it for her. “Really? Wow... You’re lucky to be up so late.”
“I know,” she nodded exuberantly. “I had to beg Mom to let me come. She made me take a nap and everything.”
“Sounds reasonable,” he said, walking them towards Gil and Catherine. They were talking, Catherine was making gestures with her hands that stopped when the duo neared. Lindsay waved, and then said something in sign language. Gil replied. Warrick looked at Catherine with a shocked look. “She and Gris have their own code now?”
Catherine nodded. “Lindsay wanted to learn sign language.”
He nodded, realizing now that the gestures she had been making were similar to the ones her daughter had made. Since Catherine wasn’t offering any other information up, he had to trust her with all that he wasn’t being told.
Gil looked at Catherine and spoke softly. “I’ll be down in my office.” He said something to Lindsay with his hands, and turned and left.
Warrick looked at Catherine again. “Is he okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” she smiled. “Just a little stressed out. Lindsay,” she spoke to her daughter. “Did you want Warrick to take you around so you can say hello to Sara and Nick and Greg?” She nodded, grinning, turning to Warrick to ask him. When he accepted, she giggled and hugged him. Catherine smiled. “Thanks. I’ve got to make a quick call, and then I can take her off your hands.”
“No problem. Linds and I will have a blast. Isn’t that right?” She nodded again and pointed down the hall, where they could hear Nick and Sara talking.
~*~
Catherine kissed her daughter’s cheek and thanked Warrick again, before rushing off to see Gil. She was glad Lindsay had decided to stop by for a visit; she was always able to cheer him up. She knocked on the door, but when she didn’t hear anything, she opened it. Gil was lying down on his sofa, a hand over his eyes.
“I didn’t say come in.”
“Yeah,” she responded. “We don’t listen very well to each other, do we?”
He lifted his hand and opened his eyes. “No.” He sat up and invited her to sit with him. “I guess that’s why we’re such good friends, still. Where is your beautiful daughter?”
“Warrick’s taking her around for a bit. Thought you could use a small rest before she completely tires you out.”
He smiled, putting a hand over hers. “Thanks.”
She let her fingers slide into his. The contact was a welcome touch; she had always loved his hands. They were capable hands. She felt her cheeks heat up; to keep him from noticing the expression on her face, she tried to change the subject. “Which bugs are you going to show her?”
“As many as her mother will let me,” he grinned. To her surprise and dismay, he caught the expression on her face. “You look warm. Should I open the window?”
“No, no,” she tried to breathe deeply. “I should be fine in a little while.”
“What’s got you so rattled?”
“Oh, nothing,” she tried to be evasive, but when he cupped her chin she knew she couldn’t escape. “Gil, I, um... we shouldn’t get into this now. Lindsay’s coming back at any minute, and maybe we could just save this conversation for breakfast, or something.”
“You really are shaken up. Did something happen?”
“Oh, definitely not,” she licked her dry lips. “I’m fine. Believe me.” She made her blue eyes meet his. His pupils dilated, his eyes broke contact with hers to glance at her lips before snapping back up to her eyes. She chuckled, wondering if he was having the same problem that she was enduring. “Gil? Sweetie? Could you maybe let me go?”
He shook his head. “We have to nip this in the bud.”
“Could be starting something we can’t control.” Her mind was racing; she didn’t understand why he was suddenly catching on, why he was choosing this moment to take action. “Why now?”
“You don’t sit still long enough for me to do this—” When his lips met hers, they were hesitant at first. He pulled back and looked at her. Her eyes were still closed, and when she felt him kiss her again, she sighed softly, granting him access to her mouth. It ended sweetly. Catherine wanted to purr.
She blushed a deeper shade of crimson. “Yeah, I know. I’ve been avoiding it.”
“So, that’s why you’ve been so busy lately.”
“Yeah.”
“And why is this?”
She ducked her eyes away. “I didn’t think I was ready to face a physical relationship with a man again, and I didn’t want to disappoint you. And, then, there’s always the fear that it wasn’t mutual, and you only need me as a friend.” She felt him nuzzle his face into her hair. “Apparently not,” she chuckled. “Gil, stop. I don’t want Lindsay walking in... not yet, when we haven’t—”
“You’re right. No sense in confusing her.” He smiled at her. “However, once more kiss shouldn’t hurt.”
“No,” she grinned, glad to feel his lips on hers.
The kiss was cut short. Nick stood in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. “Ahh, oops. Sorry guys.”
Gil pulled back; Catherine shielded herself in Gil’s shadow. “It’s okay, Nick. What did you want?”
“Just wanted to ask you to sign this. Warrick’s on his way with the munchkin.” Gil nodded and smiled, reaching out to accept the paper and place his signature on the bottom line on the page. “Ahh... I guess I’ll see you both later.”
When he left, Catherine squirmed. “Oh, boy. Can’t wait to hear the gossip on us.”
Her face was bright red when Gil turned to look at her. He chuckled. “Perfect timing, as usual.” Warrick poked his head in, still carrying Lindsay. He looked uncertain, as if Nick had warned him. “Hey Warrick, what have you got there?”
“One girl, very excited about bugs,” he shook his head jokingly. “I don’t understand.”
Catherine agreed with him. “Me, neither. But, she’s crazy about them.” Warrick set her down, and the young girl rushed to her mother, giving her a big hug. “Hey, Sweetie, did you have a good time?”
“Oh, yeah! Nick took my fingerprints,” she held her ink-stained fingertips up. Catherine realized there could be prints on her back and grimaced. Warrick shrugged sympathetically. “And Warrick let me put the magnet on his last case! And Sara gave me a treat.”
“What was that?” She asked, smiling excitedly for her daughter.
“Ice cream,” she licked her lips in remembrance. “It was yummy!”
“Great,” Catherine responded, making a mental note that next visit, no one would give her daughter sugar. She was afraid she’d never get to sleep. Gil was already standing up. When Lindsay saw him get up, she giggled about the bugs. “Gil, I’m going to go see if Greg—”
Warrick interrupted. “He hasn’t gotten anything back yet. Lab’s backed up.”
“Damn.”
“You’re more than welcome to stay here with us,” Gil offered. “But, we know how you feel about bugs.”
Warrick chuckled, shaking his head as he backed out of the room. Catherine shrugged. “Well, if Greg doesn’t have anything for me to do, I might as well stay. Is that okay, Lindsay?”
She nodded. “Of course. You can pick me up so I can see them all better.”
“Hahaha, well,” she said. “Gil already offered to do that.” She winked at him; without missing a beat, he hoisted her up into his arms. “Thanks, Gil.”
“No problem.” He turned to the girl. “What did you want to look at?” She made a hand gesture, signifying that she wanted to look at the spiders. Catherine groaned and stepped back while Gil pointed out his spider collection to her daughter. She didn’t need to see that.
“Gil, I’m gonna sit this one out,” she smiled, knowing it would be entertaining enough to watch her daughter with the man she loved, spending time together.
~*~
Gil had been home for twenty minutes when his cell phone rang. He glanced down at the display, saw that it was Catherine, and answered it. “What’s up?”
“Did you want to come over?”
“Ummm well,” he struggled not to sound too eager, but he was afraid he sounded like a moron. “I always like coming over, you sure you don’t want to spend time by yourself?”
He wanted to spend time with her. All he wanted to do was spend time with her. He had loved that woman since they met—at least that’s how it felt sometimes. Especially after they had each completely opened up and told each other their secrets. Especially after they kissed.
That kiss had been the scariest thing Gil had ever initiated. He had been so afraid she would turn him down, deny him the emotional connection he longed to share with her. She hadn’t, and she had gone further than that by agreeing with him and accepting his feelings, even though they hadn’t been vocal.
“Lindsay’s gone to school,” she told him. “And, we could have some time alone, to talk about some of those things we never had a chance to at work.”
He knew he could be cleaned up and in his car in ten minutes. “Give me fifteen minutes. I’ll be right over.”
~*~
The minute Catherine hung up the phone, she felt a fluttering in her chest. She was panicking. Gil was coming over, and she had no idea what she wanted to say to him, or how it was going to sound when it finally did come out, or what he was going to say in reply.
She changed into more comfortable clothing, and checked her hair and makeup in her vanity mirror. Then, she started tidying the house.
He was telling the truth; in fifteen minutes, he was there. He was carrying flowers. She blushed. “Hi.”
“These are for you. I didn’t know what else to—”
“They’re perfect,” she smiled, standing back to let him in. “Just let me put them in some water. C’mon in, make yourself comfortable.”
He took his light coat off, and draped it on the coat rack behind the door once he shut it. Catherine rushed off into the kitchen and started searching for a vase to put the flowers in. “Wouldn’t you rather be sleeping, Cath?”
“Well, I figured I can catch some sleep later, before picking Lindsay up.”
“Oh.” He watched her bring the flowers out, her eyes shining with what appeared to be happiness. She set them down on a small side table in front of the living room window. “They look nice there.”
She nodded. “Yeah. I like them. Thanks. Haven’t gotten flowers in a while.”
“I couldn’t think of anything else to bring,” he shrugged. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Ahhh,” she raised a hand. “One minute. I just forgot to put some dishes in the dishwasher. Don’t want them getting sticky and moldy and gross. Gimme one second, and then, I’m all yours.”
He saw the fear flash in her eyes. He knew what she was doing, but he didn’t want to push, so he let her rush off. “Did you want any help?”
“Oh, no,” she said, over the noise of dishes sliding into the plastic grid of the dishwasher. “I’ve almost got it. Just Lindsay’s breakfast dishes.”
She came back into the room, looking a bit more relaxed, until she met his eyes. “Cath...” Then, he saw her tense up again. “Why are you suddenly so intent on cleaning up?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Before he could say anything else, she was already organizing magazines on the coffee table. Without saying another word, he seized her in his hands. “Stand still with me, Catherine.”
“You want me to stand still with you?”
He nodded. “Don’t clean, don’t worry, don’t be so scared. I’m not going anywhere. I want to stand with you.” He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her against him. After a few seconds, she fell against his chest, resting her head there. “Isn’t this better?”
She nodded. “I don’t know how this is going to sound, but I love you, Gil.”
“I love you, too, Catherine.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you this.”
“Better late than never,” she smiled up at him.
“Could you say it again?” He asked after a couple moments of quiet.
She pulled back a little, knowing exactly what he meant. “Gil Grissom, I love you.” He kissed her forehead and each of her flushed cheeks before settling on her lips. She moaned softly, and fell back into his arms. She managed to gain control of her arms; her hands came up and started unbuttoning his shirt. She heard him sigh when she ran her hands over his chest, leaving them at his neck.
Without any warning, he picked her up. She opened her eyes in surprise, meeting his smiling face. She pointed in the direction of her bedroom, even though he knew where it was.
Once inside the room, he put her down on the bed. Neither of them cared that the blinds weren’t drawn. The morning light shone in, illuminating their bodies to their hungry eyes. She pulled his shirt off, tossing it on the ground. She reached for his pants, but he shooed her away. “It’s your turn.”
She shivered. His voice was so intense. She could hear everything he was feeling, it excited and frightened her. “Suit yourself.”
He pushed her back, and leaned over her. Carefully, keeping his eyes in hers, he started to unzip her hooded sweater. He kissed her lips, and then began trailing down her body. She writhed underneath his touch, wondering where he was going to kiss her next. And then, he stopped.
Disorientated, she glanced up. Gil was staring down at the scar left on her chest from the knife, the rapist’s knife. “Gil, honey, it doesn’t...” She saw the mixed emotions in his eyes. “Gil, look at me.”
He looked up. “You didn’t tell me he— he—” He sat back, moving off of her. “He could’ve killed you...”
She sat up and covered herself up. “You promised you wouldn’t run.”
“I just...” he paused, rubbing his hand over his face. “I... am I rushing you?”
“There were two of us doing the rushing, Gil.”
“Maybe we should ease into this slowly... I don’t want to hurt you, or cause more—” She stopped him from talking, using her lips on his to silence him. She took one of his hands, and put it on her chest, over the scar. “Cath...”
“I’m not going to shatter, and I have a feeling that I’m done running.” She smiled at him, making her look at him. “I want to move past all of this with you.”
He kissed her. She thought she had proved herself, and they would get to be together the way they both wanted to. However, his phone rang. They both cursed. He picked it up off the bed and answered it. “Grissom.” He rolled his eyes. “Brass, this had better be important. Serious? Hmmm. Okay. Well, I don’t see why he can’t handle this himself. Because the girl was one of our cases and then she committed a crime during the day? He can’t just go into my office and get the file?” He groaned. “Okay. I’ll be over soon.”
She saw the disappointment in his eyes. She felt it, too. “You should go. If you want to come back, I’d be more than okay with it.”
“I’ll try to,” he kissed her softly once, before picking up his shirt and leaving.
~*~
Gil hadn’t gone back to Catherine. He had, though, stayed in his office, and tried to sleep on the sofa in his office. He drifted in and out of a tormented sleep; the knowledge of Catherine’s physical scar, combined with that of Catherine’s disappointment she would feel when he didn’t return, kept him up most of the day.
When it was time for him to start working, he lifted himself up and opened his door, in case he couldn’t hear when someone knocked. Brass came by within a few minutes of the shift, and they headed to the conference room together. Catherine was with Warrick, talking in a low voice; she stopped when he came in and looked at him once before sitting down. He felt his heart sink a little bit; she did look upset with him. He wondered if Warrick knew what was going on.
“Okay, guys,” Brass started talking, looking at the files in his hand. “This is how the night’s gonna go...”
~*~
Gil had kicked Catherine out of his office twice, because he was busy. True, he was busy, but he was staying busy so she wouldn’t interrupt him, in person or in his mind. The look in her eyes hinted to him that he might’ve missed his chance at being with the one person he loved the most in the world.
He looked at the clock. 4 AM. He sighed and resigned himself to pouring over paperwork, supervising what his team was up to from afar. His ears faded in and out; when he heard the door slam, he looked up. Catherine was standing inside his office, hands on her hips.
“Hello.”
“Gil—” she was about to yell, but she stopped. She took a deep breath and started over. “Stand still for a second, would you, please?”
“I thought—”
“I love you,” she told him, nearing. “You love me. The only way this is going to work is if we kiss and make up.”
“What if I make it worse for you?”
“What if you make it better?” She countered. She was only a foot away now. He could smell her; she smelled delicious. Her hands moved from her hips to his as she closed the gap. She didn’t kiss him right away. Instead, she placed her lips to his Adam’s Apple, and sucked gently. He moaned, never knowing that was an erogenous zone on his body. “Want me to stop?”
He had seen her lips move, but didn’t hear the sound. He cursed softly, wondering why his hearing had to give out at that moment. There were things he wanted to say, things he wanted to hear. She knew what he was trying to convey. So, she tried again, this time with her hands. *More?*
Gil nodded. *I’m sorry.*
*Me too.* She smiled and nodded, accepting everything. Then, she pointed at her lips. He understood. They joined, kissing deeply and openly; his heart pounded in his chest. When he took her shirt off and his eyes caught sight of the scar, she shook her head. She put his hands on it. *It’s nothing, just skin,* she signed quickly, before taking his glasses off. Then, she took his shirt off.
Soon standing in front of each other naked, Catherine took the initiative. Gil couldn’t protest when she directed him to the sofa. The sight of her bare body would’ve made him do anything she demanded of him.
Once sitting in front of her, she lowered herself onto him. When she felt comfortable she started to move, and he moved with her. Tears sprung to her eyes, but she smiled, and let him kiss them away.
She was the first to reach a release. Her tensed muscles were enough to push him over the edge. He shuddered into her chest, holding her tightly while they rode out the last few waves of passion.
“You okay?” She asked, unable to sign because her hands were still on him.
He nodded, the muffled feeling leaving his head. “Yes. Better than okay.”
“Good.” She grinned. “Me, too.” She glanced at the clock. “We should probably join the others, see what they’re up to, ya think?”
He frowned. “I want to stay in here forever, job be damned.”
Catherine chuckled, throwing her head back. “Well, we can always go back to my place after work....”
“Deal.”
The End!
