After court, we all went to get something to eat, a way to wind down after the stressful couple of days we’ve had. Sara, Nick, and Warrick drove together, and I drove with Gil. We walked out together, all trying to choose where we wanted to celebrate. I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too busy sifting through the evidence in my mind surrounding a question that had been plaguing me for a long time: Why is Gil Grissom sexy?
It’s been nagging at me for some time. He’s always there for me when I need him. Dependability is nice. But, it’s not just that. I can’t even begin to put my finger on it.
Today was killing me. He hasn’t been collecting evidence himself, and it was so frustrating to have every other member of the team get up on that stand, and he was just sitting back in his office. I wanted to shake him. I wanted to ask him what was going on and have him tell me the truth, but he wasn’t.
Maybe it’s his mystery. He hides stuff, even from me. He shouldn’t have to, but he does. He has this cryptic-guy act playing, without even really looking like it. He’ll spout off some quote from Shakespeare that I couldn’t even remember when I was in college and had my grades depend on it, and look at you with this “Don’t you remember that?” look on his face, and you’re knocked off your ass, so surprised that he knows that stuff, and he seems glad to have surprised you. That half-smile.
Ohhhh... that half smile....
“Cath?”
I snap my eyes up away from the pavement. “Uhh, yeah?” The most suave answer I could come up with on such short notice; I’m such a moron sometimes.
“You planning on landing back on earth anytime soon?”
I can feel my face heat up. Damn. He’s giving me that smile.
“What were you trying to say?”
“We were going to go to...” I tune him out, nodding, my eyes focused on his lips. He really does have nice lips. Perfect for kissing...
“Uh, yeah, Gil. That sounds great. You can drive.”
“Well, obviously, since it’s my car.”
There’s that smile again. I think my lower legs are turning to jelly. Oh, if I fall over, that’ll be the end of me. I manage to get into his car without any mishap; that’s good, because I don’t want him thinking he effects me. That would probably give him some huge satisfaction... especially since he probably doesn’t have any of the same feelings for me.
And then, there are his eyes. They’re perfect for getting lost in. Good thing I’m in no position to stare into them right now.
Seeing him on the stand was incredible. He looked proud, and intelligent, and everything great about him—minus the strange literature quotes—was on display. There’s my friend, I wanted to say, the best friend I’ve ever had. I think he’s sexy.
Of course, that wouldn’t go over very well in court.
As he drives, I find myself watching his hands. I forgot about his hands. They’re the capable kind. I wonder what they’d feel like on my body, touching me, squeezing....
Okay, I gotta stop that. Soon, I’ll heat the vehicle up, and he’ll know something’s up.
We made it to the restaurant before the others. He made sure there were enough seats for all of us. We sat down together, waiting for the younger team members.
“You did really well today, Gil,” I told him, trying not to look too starry-eyed. He put his hand over mind and squeezed gently. My body temperature rose again. Does he do this on purpose?
“Thanks,” he responded, looking into my eyes. Oh, no. I’m getting pulled in. Can he tell? He has these little flecks and when the light catches them... Oh, boy. He’s giving me that half-smile. “Something on your mind?”
“I, uh, no, um...” I must resemble a doe caught in headlights. “No,” I shake my head, breaking eye contact. “I’m fine. I think. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. You saved our asses.”
He was going to open his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed a little, which meant he was puzzled. I rarely saw that look. Few things completely baffled him. He didn’t say anything though, because the others arrived. I slipped my hand out from under his.
Why am I so rattled? I’ve seen plenty of drop-dead gorgeous men—some with money to burn—and no one’s affected me like this. He’s just Gil, with his secrets, and his eyes, and his cryptic grin, and his brain.
Maybe that’s what it is: his mind. He is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. He can be infuriatingly perfectly intelligent sometimes. Drives me crazy. But, he teaches me so much.
He’s different. He definitely defies category.
I wonder what he’s thinking right now. Probably ‘I think Catherine’s losing her mind.’ Yeah, that’s probably it.
We all eat and joke and carry on the way we always do. It’s time to go, and when Gil takes his keys out of his pocket to drive me home, I see how tired he looks. I put my hand over the keys. Our fingers connect.... oh those capable hands... “Gil, why don’t you let me drive. You looked wiped out.”
He releases them into my hand after asking me if I was okay with driving his car. Of course I was. And now, I would have something to try and keep my mind off of his sex appeal.
“You keep staring off into space, Cath,” Warrick comments as we all exit the building together. “Sure you’re okay to drive?”
“Yes, Warrick,” I nodded. “I’m fine.” When we make eye contact, his mouth breaks into a wide grin. He probably knows what I’m thinking. He’s another smart cookie. No flies on him. I’ve seen him glance my way when Gil and I talk, this inquisitive expression on his face. He has to know. God, I’m not exactly the greatest poker player in the world—especially around Gil... he just has to give me that half-smile and my insides curl up.
We get into his SUV and wait for Sara to back her car out of the parking lot, before doing the same and heading out. He closes his eyes and turns on the radio. It’s a rock station, something I don’t pick as one of Gil’s choices. Maybe he’s surprising me again. He does that so often.
An ugly song came on the radio, making me cringe. I never understood the appeal of Korn. It’s just too heavy for my tastes. I look over at him. His eyes are closed. How can he sleep through this?
“Gil?” I ask, turning the radio station down. He doesn’t flinch. “Do you mind if I turn this down?”
No response.
Luckily, I was at a traffic light, stopped until it switched to green. I reached across the car and put my hand on his arm. “Gil?”
He jumped, looking over at me with wide eyes. Fear and guilt are written all over his face. “Did you... want something?”
The light changed. I kept driving, my eyes on the road. “I was going to ask you if I could change the radio station or turn it down or something. Unless you’re a fan of Korn...”
“What?”
I repeated myself, word for word, wondering why he was pulling this act with me. Then it dawned on me. “Gil, can you hear me?”
He caught that. I made sure to turn my head so he could read my lips. I had understood perfectly. He shook his head, defeated, and replied softly. “No. I’m losing my hearing, Catherine. Same condition as my mother’s.”
I wanted to stop the car, wrap my arms around him, and tell him that I would be by his side through this no matter what. However, we were still driving, and only a few blocks away from my house. He continued to talk. “That’s why I don’t collect evidence anymore. Hearing is so important. It comes and goes, but I have no way of predicting when it will happen.”
After parking the car in my driveway, I turn my body and look at him. “Why don’t you come in? Lindsay’s out, and you could rest here before going home.” He was shaking. I put my hand on his arm. “I’m here for you.”
He grimaced. “That music is awful.” I was about to open my mouth, but he cut me off. “It’s back. Are you sure you don’t mind spending time—”
It was my turn to cut him off. “Gil Grissom, you should know better than to ask.”
He dropped his head. “Yeah.”
We got out of the car together. As we approached my home, I put my arm around his back. “I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you need, I’ll be here for you.”
“I know,” he rested against me while I unlocked the door. If he wasn’t so upset, I’d be trying to seduce him right now. We’re never this close physically with each other on a normal basis. Him being so close to me is just like a child playing with matches; eventually, there’ll be a fire.
I invite him in. He’s been here so many times. This feels so familiar, but different. Maybe it’s because my body is humming. Maybe it’s because it’s his turn to be upset, not mine.
“Did you want something?” I asked, trying to distract both of us.
He shook his head.
So much for that.
When he’s upset or happy, his pupils dilate. They’re really big now. His heart must be breaking. I wish I could take all of this away for him; he doesn’t deserve it.
“Did you see a doctor?” I asked; he nodded. “What did he say?”
“He doesn’t have a way to predict how long it’ll be before I’m completely deaf. Could be weeks, could be years.”
I frowned. He sat down on the sofa after kicking his shoes off. I kneeled in front of him. “What did you tell Brass?”
“Nothing yet.”
“Good.”
“Why ‘Good?’”
I smiled. “I’m afraid you would’ve resigned before fully evaluating the situation.” He didn’t make eye contact with me. “So you thought about it, then....”
“Yeah. I’m useless without my hearing.”
“No, you’re far from useless.”
He’s biting his lip. I’ve never seen him do that before. His smile is a sad one; he takes my hands in his. “Thanks, Catherine. It feels good to tell someone.”
“You kicked ass in that courtroom,” I continued. “A useless person wouldn’t do that. You were my hero.”
He blushed. Yeah, I’ll admit the line was a little corny. I couldn’t think of any other way to convey to him how important he was. “Thanks.”
We sat there, staring into each other’s eyes. Yeah, those eyes are definitely one of the contributing factors to his sexiness. And, there are his hands, on mine, those capable hands. And, he’s sitting here, completely open with me, sharing parts of him he doesn’t share... if only he knew how I felt....
“I love you, Gil.”
Oh God! I said that, didn’t I? Out loud? ‘Fraid so. Damn. His eyes widen, his pupils get a little bigger. There’s that smile again. What’s he thinking? Oh my God... I can’t believe I have such little control over my mouth!
“I love you, too, Cath.” He moved one of those hands to my chin. He was bending down towards me, slowly, in such a way that I really didn’t know what was going on. When he kissed me, I nearly passed out from anticipation. I saw sparks. “I’m not just saying that because I’m—”
“I know.” I grinned and then suggested: “Maybe we should move this to my bedroom.”
In one fluid motion, he’s standing, and I’m in his arms.
Oh my goodness, Gil’s sexy.
The End!
